So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
