I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
be right there i have to get my cape
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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