Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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