i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
did you just send me my own nude
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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