I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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