he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
