Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
