her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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