is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
