i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
