My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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