Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
