you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
