Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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