K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
