so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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