Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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