so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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