I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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