ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My liver just broke up with me...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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