I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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