Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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