What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
