Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
