I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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