I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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