I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
