I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
