oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
