I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Two words: blizzard sex
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
