I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
