Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
