I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
me + whiskey = a bad person
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
