talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Houston, we have a blender
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
