dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
