She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
