I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
