My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
