Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
