I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
