There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
