our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
