i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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