wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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