You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
