he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
