can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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