oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
