It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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