dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
