Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
