Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
