she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
